Monthly Archives: April 2009

广播剧之旅:在剪接瓶颈的背后

四月十一日(星期六) 我终于走出来了。走出自己的瓶颈,放下自己的不安,摔开自己的自卑。丑媳妇终究是得见人的。 《舞台之瘕疵》第一至三场终于“见”过了各位参与录音的“家翁”与“家婆”们了。其实老早就把这系列的后期制作都做完了,但是心里的那把声音却告诉自己:做完了并不代表做好了。系列中似乎还是少了什么说不清楚的灵魂。走过了那段把闲暇时间都投资在一听再听的日子。走过沉迷于把那神秘的灵魂抓住,就为了任性地想剥夺它的自由把它关进我的成品中。自己不满意所以不愿意显出来让组员听。 最沮丧的时候,我甚至想把制作好的系列当核废料删去了从新出发,再制作一次。就好比一个孩子把自己堆积得好高好高的积木给推倒,再堆一个更高、更壮观的积木高塔。终究还是不舍得。这么多天熬夜的付出,我怎么舍得呢? 所以我选择把它“打入冷宫”,放在硬盘里让它继续“慢火”炖着,自生自灭,不去听它也不想让别人去听。用各种各样的方法麻醉自己。上网跟朋友聊天。找朋友出去吃饭喝茶。写脚本。去烦前辈,问他是否知道什么了不起的办法能让自己的无聊烦恼神奇地消失,好让我快快走出瓶颈。什么都好,就是不去听那系列的广播剧。因为它们都没有灵魂。因为它们都好丑。都不好听。都是次等货。或许更残忍一点:它们连上榜的机会都没有。 都是那剪接坏了大事。我又继续往牛角的尖处爬去。 有一天,我在工作附近见到两位男童强行地想把一只小猫关进垃圾槽里。无聊的我走上去阻止了。平息事情后,却不禁要内疚。我凭什么去阻止那两位孩子?我不也是要强行地将“灵魂”强行地关进我的剪接“垃圾槽”里吗?垃圾槽里的垃圾天天被工作人员清除,所以垃圾不会堆积如山。我的剪接却被我封锁在硬盘中,没有机会清除。如果那些剪接能说话,它们会不会抱怨我不让它们有个知道自己犯了什么错的机会呢?终于考虑搞个试听会,却遇到麻烦的人际关系。 一种米养百种人。自己的乐趣未必是别人的乐趣。自己的坚持是别人眼中的傻气。自己的吹毛求疵是别人的无聊。自己或许没有炫耀的意图,但是别人可能觉得你炫示。杂七杂八。胡思乱想。最终暗暗在我心中将试听会的计划拉倒。 以我这种德性在世上能忍受我的人很少,所以我朋友也不多。有位朋友最爱对我说:“一切是最好的安排。”真的。一切是最好的安排。旁人提起。试听会进行。好坏都能接受。冷言冷语,就当凉风由它去。建设性的提议,好好珍惜。真的,没有必要想那么多。 终于明白:自己真的想太多,动太少。任性将自己肥胖的身躯往狭窄的牛角尖挤。爬出牛角尖才发现:原来草那么绿。风那么凉。太阳这么可爱。天空那么单纯。我为什么要这么委屈自己呢? 无聊。 瓶颈的背后就是无聊的自卑。

Posted in 录音, 《舞台》, 卖弄风雅 | Leave a comment

Changes ~ 改变

Dear Baby, Theoritically you should be a toddler now. It is been more than a year since you joined our household. Changes have been made so that you, the littlest one of the family, can be comfortable. And of course, … Continue reading

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I have a mobile broadband that is almost useless…

M1!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BASE STATION?!?! SHUTDOWN TO SAVE ELECTRICITY AR?!?!

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The Queen and I ~ 皇后与我

Some leisure activity group. About half a year ago, I started a project and became so ambitious that I even invited the big big boss of the group to join in just for the fun of it. After which the … Continue reading

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Obituary ~ 讣告

Xiao Pang, 5 years 1 month 13 days, died 8 April 2009 at his owner’s home in Singapore, after an acute motherboard failure. Xiao Pang joined the household on 26 February 2004 in Singapore. He was the eldest laptop of … Continue reading

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Courage ~ 勇敢

Dear Diary: Today, I took the first step out courageously. I don’t know if that is courage, or plain stupidity. 亲爱的日记: 今天,我勇敢地踏出第一步了。 真不知道这该说是勇气可嘉还是有勇无谋。。。

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矛盾

有贪婪与强烈占有欲的人,生活中的物资永远都是短缺的。我就是这类人。 这也是为什么我的生活中有许多的短缺。我也一直在追求。 一方面知道放下必定能过得更舒适一点。另一方面却怎么样都放不下。 我左手拿着矛,我右手拿着盾。它们也就开开心心地搏斗着。

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Value ~ 价值

Dear Diary, May I know what is the value of my life? What am I supposed to do? What? Who? Where? When? Why? 亲爱的日记: 请问我的生命价值在哪里?我该做什么?什么?谁?哪里?几时?为什么?

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Unbalance ~ 不平衡

I wanted to take a new course. I checked out the details and found that although the initial cost is affordable to me, the subsequent potential costs is a tad beyond me. Life’s a bitch when you have to count … Continue reading

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No rights granted ~ 没资格

If you had ruthlessly fixed a particular image onto a person regardless of their choice of acceptance and demand that they fulfill the criteria that you had set for that image, it is a form of unreasonable behavior, right? If … Continue reading

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